Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.
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October 28, 2009
Someone once said “In order to find the right person, you must BE the right person.” I thought these words were so profound, especially after a conversation I had this week with my sister regarding her recent pursuit for Mr. Right.
I was reminded of myself years ago when I was looking for my perfect man to complete me– to make me happy, so that I could begin my life as the better half of a “happy couple.” I thought I needed to first find the right person, before I could be happy. So I got married and thought I was all set. After my marriage ended many years ago, I finally realized that expecting someone else to make me happy and complete me was a pretty tall order. Especially when they can’t read my mind and may have no idea what truly makes my heart sing! My happiness might also be unpredictable if I relied on others to always give it to me…
The next several years proved to be amazing as I embarked on my journey to BE the right person and be happy on my own first. I sat down to think about the kind of person I admired, and the qualities they have that I would love to possess. I was inspired to learn more, experience more, and do more. I was having so much fun in my life that I seemed to be attracting similar people. Even my family seemed to notice and they all grew happier in my presence.
My sister agreed with the importance of our own happiness, when she relayed her recent experiences of fun and fulfillment with her friends, her work, and her passions in her life. As she is practicing being the “Right Person,” and doing the things that make her happy while she dates, she mentioned how excited she is that for the first time she doesn’t feel anxious about finding Mr. Right, but rather– she feels complete without the need to wait by the phone. Hallelujah!
Today, as I enjoy the love and care of my wonderful boyfriend, I remind myself that while it can be easy to let him make me happy every day, it’s also important to do the things that I know will create my own happiness like exercising, reading, and spending time with my friends. What a great gift you can give yourself. This week, you might think about the things you did that made you happy before you were married, in a relationship, or had children. Perhaps you are overdue for a happiness date with yourself? How much would your loved ones benefit if you were happier? Please reply and let me know about your favorite thing. I’d love to know what makes your heart sing!
October 7, 2009
Did you ever plan a vacation, and when you got to your destination, not everything went as you planned? Maybe the hotel only had rooms with two double-beds, or the weather man completely miscalculated the weather report? Perhaps your digestive system didn’t cooperate with the foreign food in the country you were in?
Last week, I was reminded of how much vacation can mimic our everyday lives. I went on a little holiday to Cabo San Lucas with my boyfriend for a blissful relaxing week on the beach. Through-out our week in the lovely Sea of Cortez, we experienced cancellations on our tours, delays on the time-share presentations we sat through, and mosquitoes that liked us a little too much. The humidity even afforded me the opportunity to sweat more at dinner than I ever have after a strenuous workout! Wow!
In the midst of it all, I had to laugh. I thought to myself– How often do we have plans in life for our career, our kids, or our relationships, and sometimes the universe shows us a completely different way?
At the end of the day, it’s about the journey, as they say, right? For me, it’s a series of amazing moments when I can witness the beauty in challenges, learn more about myself, and about this beautiful world we live in. When I experienced my vacation through this perspective, everything changed, and I notice beauty all around. The gratitude I felt was overwhelming. Suddenly, I really enjoyed the hot weather, and wished I could stay longer. I enjoyed every fun moment with my wonderful man. He even caught one of my vacation moments on video for you…
What if we could live our everyday lives not sweating the small stuff (perhaps literally)? What if we had a vacation moment of gratitude on a daily basis? This month, when you experience a challenge that wasn’t part of your plan, perhaps you’ll be curious and see the beauty of how this may change your journey, and what you might learn from it. Enjoy!