Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.

Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.

Welcome Ladies! As a Speaker and Relationship Coach, I will show you a new perspective on how to be confident woman as bold as red lipstick! If you've ever been frustrated by the men in your life or felt overwhelmed trying to find your own balance and harmony, you have come to the right place for some answers!

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AB02258 This week I was thinking of the expression, “It’s better to be give, than to receive.”  I grew up hearing it a lot from adults, and I remember how much fun I’ve had giving through out my life.  I am especially reminded of the special high that comes from giving during this time of the year, when we are all in the giving spirit.

I pondered for a moment, wondering why it feels so good to give.   I smiled and thought of all the yummy giving moments I’ve had over the years—from the back-rubs I gave my grandfather when I was five—to the times I dyed my Mom’s hair for her.   I suddenly came to the realization that it wouldn’t have been as much fun to give, if those I gave to weren’t great receivers. To this day, when someone thanks me for the gift I gave them,  my help with the dishes, taking the groceries out of the car, or even making an extra grilled cheese sandwich, I feel so appreciated, and I know that my gift has been received.  Even better, is the fact that they let me give to them.

Have you ever offered help or tried to give to someone, only to have them say, “No thanks!”  Did you feel a little disappointed?  I know I have.  The other day, I was talking to a Man who mentioned “how confused he was with women these days.”  He said that often he’ll try to open a door for a woman, or offer help in some way, but so often she’ll stop him, and say, “No, thanks—I got it!”  Could it be that we as women have become such great givers, that sometimes, we forget to receive? 

This same Man seemed disheartened when he explained how much he really liked helping, and wished his wife would ask him to hang stuff on the walls more often, rather than do it herself before he got home from work.  He explained how cool it was when she used to ask him to lift heavy boxes, or do things that required a man’s strength.  The best part, he said was afterwards, “when she expressed her appreciation with a huge smile beaming from ear to ear.” 

As I listened to him reminisce about giving, I thought to myself, “Ah, yes—that’s the same kind of appreciation I feel from those I give to.  No wonder he feels deprived of giving.”  After our conversation, I couldn’t help but think of receiving in a whole new light.  Perhaps the real trick to being a great giver, is to be an even better receiver!  As a bonus to being a great receiver, I remembered that “receptivity” is one of the four most attractive qualities of women.

When we allow men to give to us, and help us—we get to practice the gift of receiving.  Sure, you can hang those pictures on your own, but why not let your man have an opportunity to express his way of giving and taking care of you?  If you are like me, I know there is a strong possibility that you have a certain way you like things done (How many of you re-clean the kitchen after he does the dishes? ).  The next time your man offers to give to you in some way, perhaps you’ll forget about the right way (your way) just this once, and practice receiving his gifts instead.  Trust me– it will be worth it, when you find that he offers to give to you– more and more, and more…  Enjoy!!

Please send me your best stories of your man giving to you this season.  How well did you receive??

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