Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.

Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.

Welcome Ladies! As a Speaker and Relationship Coach, I will show you a new perspective on how to be confident woman as bold as red lipstick! If you've ever been frustrated by the men in your life or felt overwhelmed trying to find your own balance and harmony, you have come to the right place for some answers!

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42-16106965In the midst of your days of taking care of the kids, running errands, or working your full-time job, do you ever wonder how on earth you could possibly transform yourself into the sensual goddess that your boyfriend or husband might like you to be?

I know I often get so caught up in the throws of everyday life, I forget that as a woman, I’m actually a feminine being. I got a huge reminder one day, when I read that one of the top four qualities that attract men to women is: “Sensuality.” I had to stop mid-sentence to ask out-loud — what exactly does sensuality look like? My mind immediately drifted to images of Victoria Secret models in barely-there angel bras and lingerie with air-brushed skin. I suddenly found myself saddened at my misfortune of not having a whole crew to help me look like a freshly coiffed model who sat in a make-up chair for two hours, revealing a picture of perfection. Then I came back to reality, and decided to find out what this sensual business was all about.

As I embark on this short quest to the island of Sensuality, I invite you to join me. Together, perhaps we’ll discover that our own sensuality may not be hidden in the Bermuda triangle after all. According to Captain Webster, sensuality means: to arouse or excite the senses or appetites. Well, that certainly doesn’t sound like it even involves anyone else, does it? Could it be that by simply exciting our own senses, we can embody sensuality? Perhaps what men are really responding to is our own excitement and pleasure. Hmm, I wonder if the Victoria’s Secret models have figured this out yet? Could be one of their many secrets!

When I think of exciting my own senses, I remember how amazing my skin feels when I slather on vanilla lotion, or how I moan with delight, when I slowly take a bite of my favorite dessert, creme brulee. It seems, these are the moments, when we give our senses a real treat and are present to that pleasure. Listening to my favorite song that gets me in the mood to dance, or smelling my own perfume on my wrist, has me be in the moment and witness my own joy, that I can’t help but let it show. Often my boyfriend will look at me with a huge smile when I’m really enjoying one of these moments. Now I know that he’s probably noticing my sensual side.

This must be what my friend Victor meant the other day, when he described a woman he was with at Starbucks. He said that she had a look on her face as she sipped her latte that seemed as though she was experiencing both joy and pleasure in that very moment. He said the way she also seemed to take her time with her own experience was so attractive and very inviting.

Who knew that by having a party with our own senses and giving ourselves the permission to enjoy our own little moments of pleasure that we could actually be “Sensual?” Whether it be enjoying each bite of a good meal, listening to each note of sweet music, or slowly feeling the softness of your own skin, these can be very sensual, inviting experiences, and you don’t have to look like an orgasmic model in a Herbal Essence commercial. Perhaps this week in the midst of your busy schedule, you’ll take an extra moment and pause to enjoy whatever treats you give your senses. You might even notice who else is noticing you…enjoy!

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