Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.

Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.

Welcome Ladies! As a Speaker and Relationship Coach, I will show you a new perspective on how to be confident woman as bold as red lipstick! If you've ever been frustrated by the men in your life or felt overwhelmed trying to find your own balance and harmony, you have come to the right place for some answers!

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Doesn’t it feel amazing when someone you love appreciates you?  As women, we are naturally so nurturing as we adapt to the needs of our family, our friends, that we may even put ourselves last.  Many women I’ve talked to have expressed heartfelt sadness when they don’t feel appreciated for all they do for their family, and even the company they work for.  It can then feel like a burden to continue to give to people who we don’t feel appreciate us.  Believe it or not, the same is true for men!   In fact, this is often the secret ingredient to getting what we need from men.  However, It seems appreciation may be under-rated and sometimes forgotten when stress takes us over.  The amazing thing about this last step in the Harmony Process, is that it can be as simple as one moment, and one smile.  Review all four steps below, and complete your journey to Confident Harmony with appreciation!  Who knows—perhaps you’ll find yourself feeling more appreciated too!!  Enjoy!!


Step 1:  Identify the so-called “Stupid” Behavior without Evaluation
Rather than see the behavior for what you think it means, try observing the actions only.

Step 2:  Get Clear with Your Expectations
Ask yourself: What were you expecting him to know or do in that situation? Is it possible that he had no idea you had this expectation? How did it make you feel when he didn’t do it?  Do you think he was purposely trying to make you feel that way? 

Step 3: Clearly Requesting What You Need & Getting it!
Specifically Request what you need—even if you think it’s obvious.   Clearly state why it is important to you, what it really gives you, and give him a clear result to shoot for.

Step 4: Offer Him Your Appreciation and Reveal the Hero!

As simple as it is to show appreciation, I remember moments when I didn’t always feel so generous with it.  I’ve talked to some women who also found it difficult to offer it, especially if THEY didn’t feel appreciated for what they do.  One woman said, “Why should I appreciate every little thing he does, when I do so much more, and I hardly ever get a – thank you!”  I could understand the burden she felt, as she was overwhelmed by her to-do list and responsibilities as a wife and mother.  She explained to me that she didn’t have the luxury of waiting for appreciation to get things done.  I couldn’t help but think of the saying I’ve heard to “Give the thing you most want.”

When we are tired and exhausted, it might be difficult to even think about having gratitude when we just need the trash to be taken out, or help with the groceries.  What would happen if we decided to offer our appreciation anyway?  This is one those situations when we might ask, “Which came first—the chicken, or the egg?”  In this case, which came first– the hero or the appreciation?  The amazing thing I realized is that even in our most exhausted state, appreciation can be as simple as a smile, and that smile can be enough to have a man want to move mountains for us.

The other night, my friend Danielle told me about how amazed she was when she showed her husband appreciation for helping her with tasks around the house.  The next day, she said he was asking her what else she needed, and what else he could do for her! Appreciation is really like “fuel” for men—even more so than we think.  This is especially true when we are requesting the things we need and want.  As step 4 in the harmony process, it’s the key to revealing the Hero in the men around you.  Even when he doesn’t do something exactly the way you needed it done, appreciating him for his efforts and desire to give you what you need will have him want to try harder next time, and he will likely come to your rescue more often! 

This week, practice your appreciation for even the smallest things you ask men to do for you, and see what happens!  Behold the power of your smile, your thank you-s, and your hugs of gratitude.  You may find Heroes coming to life all around you!

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    Comment by undecidable — March 9, 2015 @ 1:36 am

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