Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.

Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.

Welcome Ladies! As a Speaker and Relationship Coach, I will show you a new perspective on how to be confident woman as bold as red lipstick! If you've ever been frustrated by the men in your life or felt overwhelmed trying to find your own balance and harmony, you have come to the right place for some answers!

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Like many women I know, I was drawn to see the movie “It’s Complicated” with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin.  I was mesmerized by Meryl Streep, who at sixty years old still looks so amazing and displays the kind of confidence that had me watch from the audience, thinking to myself how awesome sixty will be and had me actually looking forward to it. 

By now, we’ve all seen the preview showing the shock and horror on Meryl Streep’s face when her character, Jane wakes up in bed with her ex-husband, Jake, played by Alec Baldwin.  They divorced many years earlier, and now they suddenly found themselves in each other’s arms again.  I completely understood Jane’s shock, as Jake was now married to the very-hot thirty-something who he cheated on Jane with.  We can all probably relate to her confusion, feelings of wrongness, and just plain craziness that after cheating on Jane, he would suddenly want to be with her fifteen years later?  Sounds pretty complicated, right?

Well, I’m happy to report that through all the hilarious moments of pure shenanigans a`la Three’s A Company, I learned a very good lesson about love and I now think that perhaps it doesn’t have to be as complicated as we think.  While we might think as we’ve been told–that men only need sex and food–this movie sheds some light on something even simpler that I think we all want and have in common.  I wonder if  we all basically want to be “gotten” by someone– to have our soul be seen and loved as is.  I know it sounds corny, but how many of us melt when our man remembers that special place we like to be kissed or they see when we are about to get frustrated and they just know the special way to calm us down?  Even if it’s your best girl-friend who knows the right thing to say to cheer you up– These are all the ways that we can feel seen and truly known by the ones we love.  I believe it comes from a sincere adoration and appreciation for each other as people.

At a Thanksgiving dinner party I attended,  we all talked about the things we were thankful for, and one of the guests said that he was so thankful for having “a wife who gets him.”  I smiled, thinking that only the two of them could really know what that means.  Their adoration for each other was apparent by how much they seemed to truly enjoy each other.  This reminds me of  the movie, and I wonder if Jake and Jane’s friendship and adoration was possibly re-kindled when they enjoyed genuine laughter and fun together– beyond the matters of work and the kids that might have distracted them in their marriage before.  Could it be that they saw each other as beautiful on the inside and they suddenly found each other so attractive again.  Is it possible that in spite of Jake having a stereo-type-super-hot wife, he simply wanted to be seen, heard, and really be understood and appreciated—rather than just be a sperm donor to his ovulating wife?

When we feel seen by another human being, in my experience it feels like that person is seeing our beauty inside and out, quirks, details—and all!  This movie reminds me to remember all the special things I love about my man, all the little things that have me really “like” him and adore him as a person.  Now I get why, when we are having fun and laughing together, those are often the sexiest moments ever!  What can be simpler than that? 

When is the last time you had real fun with your man?   Perhaps as this New Year is dawning, you’ll remember some of the fun, silly times you have shared together, whether it be enjoying a concert with your favorite artist, or swinging on the swings at your local playground.  Whether your dating or in a relationship, make this year one of fun, laughter, and seeing each other’s true beauty!  Who knows,  you might find yourselves having more fun between the sheets too!  Enjoy!

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