Mary Loyer: Founder of Red Lipstick Inc.
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Can You have Harmony without Being a Pushover?
February 24, 2010
Last week, I spoke of how frustrating it can be when we, as women, find ourselves in one of those moments when we encounter a man we think is being “stupid.” I often become painfully aware that they don’t think like us, and therefore, what we think is the obvious way to do things is not obvious to them. It can be especially frustrating when we don’t have time to explain it in what we think is layman’s terms.
Does this mean that we are destined to be frustrated and not get what we want or need from men?
That’s a question I’ve been asking myself for many years. I’ve heard many other men and women ask questions like “Why do relationships have to be so hard?” or “Why can’t we just get along?” With so many differences between us, it can seem virtually impossible to achieve harmony without one person submitting to what the other person wants, ignoring their own needs, or just keeping quiet when they get upset. Some people even call that– being a “push-over.”
Some might think that to have harmony in a relationship, one person must be a “push-over,” and neglect what they need. In researching harmony, I’ve found a different way of looking at it that has made all the difference in my life!
The dictionary, describes harmony as: a pleasing combination of elements in a whole. In music, harmony is used to describe the process of playing or singing two or more different notes at the same time to form chords. So really, it’s not about being a “pushover,” and diminishing what you want. Rather, it’s about being numberswiki.com
completely different and combining those differences to create something amazing. Imagine being celebrated for your unique set of strengths at work, and being called upon to use those strengths for the gain of the team, similar to the way each instrument in an orchestra has a different strength of equal importance to help create the amazing sound of a symphony. The symphony just wouldn’t sound the same without the different sounds of the trumpet, or the piano. It’s also impossible for the trumpet to sound anything like the piano.
If your life is a symphony, imagine utilizing the gifts and strengths of the people around you to help you get what you need and create your amazing tune of happiness. The more I learn about men, the more aware I am that perhaps they were created to compliment the tune of our melody as women. I can see my frustration always comes when I don’t understand their strengths and how their tune fits into my symphony. Although, I’m used to my own instrument, and the way it sounds on its own– I’ve grown to appreciate when my boyfriend’s different tune can make my own a lot sweeter, especially when it saves me a lot of time, effort, and precious energy.
Studying harmony amongst men and women for the last few years has led me to create my Harmony Process. Using this process, I have found a “Confident Harmony” in my life, as it has helped me handle those frustrating “stupid” moments so that I still get to be my confident self, uncompromising in my values as a strong women, and getting what I need from the men in my life. If you want a taste of this “Confident Harmony,” stay tuned next week, as I outline 4 steps to master your own symphony.